Chapters open, chapters close

Mit 3. semester er ovre. Mit udvekslingssemester er slut. Om få timer tager jeg flyet til Chicago, og siger farvel til Memphis. Det har været en rutsjebane. Endnu engang er det tilbage til Danmark efter et af mine eventyr. Det har ikke været nemt. Jeg er efterhåndet vænnet til næsten at være flere steder på en gang og jeg troede egentlig jeg var ved at være 'rutineret', men nemmere bliver det altså ikke. Det må jeg vist se i øjnene. Kan man overhovedet vænne sig til at flytte sig hver 3. måned eller hvert halve år? Som jeg beskrev det i dette indlæg, var der ingen nervøsitet da jeg tog afsted mod Tennessee og den kom heller aldrig. På den måde er jeg rutineret. Men tilknytningen? Den vil altid være der. Og det har jeg accepteret. Vi er jo kun mennesker. Hvor trist ville det ikke også være, hvis jeg uden besvær kunne forlade de rammer, som har været mit hjem?

Det er fandme svært at flytte sig fra sted til sted. Imens jeg har været her, har jeg følt et umådeligt sundt savn til Aberdeen. Savn er vel altid sundt, er der nogen der siger. Det kan godt være det er sundt, men det er ikke sjovt at savne noget, du ved du aldrig nogensinde får igen. Lukkede kapitler kan umulige være sunde at savne. Det er overstået. Det har været utrolig rart at savne noget, jeg ved, jeg skal tilbage til. Faktisk lige om lidt. For dem, hvis næse det er gået forbi, så tager jeg hjem nu. Hjem til Europa. Midt i semesteret besluttede jeg mig for kun at blive her et semester, og selvom jeg ved det er det rigtige for mig, så er det alligevel lidt trist. Tilknytningen slipper jeg jo ikke for. Selvom det har været svært, har det her jo været mit hjem de sidste fire måneder. Jeg har levet sammen med de her mennesker, der før var fremmede, og nu er venner, i de sidste fire måneder.

Jeg har været i Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri og Illinois. Jeg nåede ikke til Texas, men det er helt okay. Da jeg havde chancen, tog jeg den ikke. Det må vist være menningen så. Men jeg har oplevet så meget andet. Jeg har følt den ægte amerikanske skoleånd. Spist s'mores, BBQ i massevis, oplevet Thanksgiving i Chicago og Halloween på et ægte amerikansk campus med alt hvad der hører med. Jeg har boet på måske verdens smukkeste campus, som billederne ovenfor så fint bekræfter. Jeg har fået venner, jeg gerne vil beholde for resten af livet. Jeg har haft nok verdens bedste roomate. Antallet af gange vi har været oppe den halve nat for at vende verdenssituationen kan ikke tælles på to hænder. Selvom jeg, indrømmet, mest har hængt ud med mit internationale slæng, så er der også et par amerikanere, der har gjort indtryk på mig. Det sker ellers ikke så tit. Det akademiske miljø har været ovenud fantastisk, og jeg har haft de bedste lærere i verden, uden tvivl. Etnocentrismen viser sit ansigt hver evig eneste dag, men det er også noget af det, der har gjort mit ophold her så lærerigt. At studere i en by som Memphis, hvor segregation, fattidom og racisme er hverdagskost for et alt for stor procentdel af indbyggerne, har i den grad fået mig gjort opmærksom på hvor mange problemer USA, og i særdeleshed sydstaterne, egentlig kæmper med. Det var ikke før, at jeg så det med mine egne øjne, at jeg indså hvor galt det står til. Det var ikke før, jeg hørte mine egne klassekammerater og venner tale højt om den diskrimination, de oplever hver eneste dag - på vores eget campus - at det gik op for mig, hvorfor Black Lives Matter er vigtigt. Hvorfor vi blev nødt til at demonstrere imod det, der skete på University of Missouri. Det virker mærkværdigt at nævne de her problemstillinger, når folk spørger mig, hvad der har gjort mest indtryk på mig igennem min tid her. Men det er sandheden. Som min canadiske professor fortalte os, da hun gav os hendes syn på, hvorfor hun godt kan lide Memphis. Fordi det er umuligt at ignorere alt det, der er galt.

Jeg vil komme til at savne det her sted. Tak Memphis. Tak for gode minder, gode diskussioner og vigtigst af alt, gode venner.

Today marks the end of my 3rd semester at college. My exchange semester is over, and in a few hours, I'll be on a plane back to Europe. These past four months have been a rollercoaster without equal. Once again, I am about to go back to Denmark after one of my adventures. It hasn't been easy. When is it ever? You get used to moving around, eventually. You get used to being in more than one place at a time. At least that's what it feels like sometimes. I was sure I had reached the point where I'd be experienced enough to do this without losing my cool. But even I have to admit that it doesn't get any easier. It might never. Is there a way to get yourself used to moving around every 3th month or every half year? I'm pretty good at keeping a sense of belonging, but when all this is over, I've had 23 flights this year. Twenty three. And this year hasn't even been that cracy. As I wrote in this post, there wasn't the tiniest bit of anxiety or nervousness to be felt when I left for Tennessee. And it never came. In this sense, I am 'experienced' and I've done it before. Too many times sometimes. However, the attachment is a different game. I don't think that'll ever go away, and I think I have made my peace with that. I am only human, after all, right? Let's face it, it would be pretty sad if we could stay in a place for a longer period of time and not feel any sad feelings once it's time to leave it, right? 

I have to say it. It's difficult moving around constantly. While I've been here, I've missed Aberdeen. Personally, I think it's healthy to be away from something and subsequently realizing how much you love it. Especially when it's a place you can go back to. Missing my 2nd home has been nice, because I'll be back there in less than a month. But the attachment still snuck up on me. Even though I want to leave, I can't help feel a little twinge of sadness. Just because it's over. Just because the reality, that been my reality for the past four months, is going to shatter tomorrow when I get on my first plane. For those of you who are still unaware, I'm not coming back here next semester. Halfway through this past semester I decided to cut it short and return to Scotland next year. I have no doubts about whether or not it really was the right thing to do, because I know it is the right thing to do. But attachment is still a bitch. I've been living here for the past four months. These people, the majority being people with whom I will most likely ever cross paths again, have become my friends. We met as strangers and part as friends. 

While I've been here, I've visited Arkansas, Missouri and Illinois. And Tennessee, of course. I never made it to Texas, but that's okay. When I had the chance, I didn't take it. So I think everything turned out how it was supposed to. I've done so many other things. I've experienced the American college spirit. I've eaten lots of s'mores, stuffed myself with delicious Southern BBQ, I've celebrated Thanksgiving in Chicago and Halloween on a college campus with everything it entails. I've been living on what is probably the most beautiful campus on earth. What more could you ask for? I've gotten to know a lot of wonderful people, some of whom turned into friendships I want to preserve for the rest of my life. I've had the best roommate in the entire world. Ah, the number of times we've stayed up late discussing everything from ethnocentrism, inequality, travelling.. Even though I've mostly been hanging with my international crew (guilty as charged), I have managed to find a few American friends, some of which have made a lasting impression on me. A rare case, I should mention. 
The academic environment at Rhodes has been amazing and I've had some of the best teachers I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. The ethnocentrism is ever-present, but, believe or not, this is one of things that has made my stay here so interesting. Studying in a city like Memphis, where segregation, poverty, inequality and racism are everyday occurrences for a way too large percentile of the population, has made me realize how many problems the US, and the South in particular, is actually facing. I had to see and hear it from my own friends and classmates, before it clicked. It wasn't before I heard the people, people that I see every day, talk about these problems, that I realized why Black Lives Matter is important. I realized why action needs to be taken against what happened at Mizzou. It seems strangely odd to list these things when people ask me what has impacted me the most during my time here. But that's the truth. As my Canadian Political Science-professor said, when she told us why she liked living in Memphis. It's impossible to ignore the problems. 

With that, I'll end this. Thank you, Memphis. Thank you for some amazing memories, some good food for thought and some good people I'd like to keep in my life forever. Another chapter comes to an end.

Enogtyvende leveår

Skal vi lige mindes hvordan jeg tilbragte min 19 års-fødselsdag to år tilbage? Er der nogen, der kan huske det?

That's right, på vej over Atlanten. Den forkerte vej, vel og mærke. Eller hvad? Jeg tilbragte størstedelen af min fødselsdag i George Bush-lufthavnen i Houston. Jeg satte mig på et fly med kurs mod Istanbul om aftenen d. 21 og da jeg forlader det fly igen, er klokken 16 d. 22. oktober. Der var ikke meget glæde over den dag. Så meget for fødselsdag. Det var lidt sørgeligt.
Men hey! Det bragte jo en million og en gode ting med sig, og se, hvor jeg er i dag. Det gik kun opad derfra. Jeg tog til Sydamerika. Fik venner for livet. Flyttede til Skotland. Og nu er jeg tilbage i USA! Tal lige om happy ending. Jeg kan faktisk huske, at jeg, da jeg flyttede til Texas dengang, på forunderlig vis forventede stadig at være i USA den dag, jeg fyldte 21. Ikke så godt tænkt igennem, da den oprindelige mening jo var et år, men man kunne jo drømme. Drømmen gik i opfyldelse, næsten helt uden at jeg planlagde det! Livet er pudsigt til tider.

Meget har ændret sig, som jeg også skrev om her. Endnu mere har ændret sig siden min sidste fødselsdag. Ikke overraskende. Tid har det med at ændre meget. Stopper man nogensinde med at forundres over hvor hurtigt tingene ændrer sig og hvor meget der egentligt sker i løbet af et år? Eller bliver det bare værre, som man bliver ældre? Vi får se.

Min fødselsdag er altid en dejlig dag. Også selvom den bliver brugt i en lufthavn. Der er noget magisk over det. Alting er lidt klarere. Jeg har ingen bekymringer. Jeg får altid en helt masse dejlige beskeder fra folk, jeg holder af, og idag er ingen undtagelse. Det er minimal anstrengelse, men det betyder, at folk har tænkt på dig. Måske kun to sekunder, men jeg tager hvad jeg kan få. Allerede fra tirsdag eftermiddag begyndte jeg at få lynønskninger. Det er nok det eneste gode ved fucked up tidszoner - min fødselsdag varer så lang tid! Så når min fødselsdag er ovre i Danmark, er den nærmest lige begyndt her i Tennessee. I aften skal jeg nemlig til Beale Street, Memphis' øjesten, og flashe mit ID. Bare fordi jeg kan! Måske få en lille drink. Igen, bare fordi jeg kan. Selvom jeg har haft timer idag, så vil jeg glemme det hele i aften, og bare nyde idag. Ingen lektier. Ingen bekymringer om de eksamener og afleveringer, der venter på mig i næste uge. Bare fordi jeg kan. 21 år!

Does anybody remember where I spent my birthday two years ago? No?

I was at the Houston George Bush airport in Texas, waiting for a plane to Istanbul. I was going back to Europe. 10 months before I planned to, actually. I boarded the plane in the evening of the 21st and when I left it again, it was 4 PM the next day. My birthday wasn't very festive. But things turned around after that. I went to South America and made friends I know I'll have for life. I moved to Scotland. And look at me now - I'm back in the States, just in time to turn 21 in the country where 21 is being legal. It all turned out perfect. I remember thinking, back when I was leaving Texas, that I'd be back for my 21st. God knows I had absolutely no idea how, but I promised myself that I'd be here again. And here I am!

A lot have changed since that day in 2013. Time tends to change a lot. Almost everything. My life is completely different from the picture I remember from that day. I made it to college! Not the way I expected, but here I am! The reason for this is, as you already know, that I got accepted to a university I absolutely adore - against all odds. It still perplexes me that it's real. That it actually happened. If I had known that back when I was leaving Texas, I wouldn't have cried on the plane for not being able to reach one of the flight attendants. I was not in a good state. My dream came true. My 19 year old self didn't have to worry at all.

So here's to flashing my passport at Beale Street, being legal and getting a drink - just because I can.

Abroad from abroad

Eventyret er i gang, jeg er en Lynx nu (deres maskot og derved det, vi alle sammen hedder når vi repræsenterer Rhodes) orienteringen er i fuld gang og døgnet har ikke nok timer. Jeg får deja vú til rusugen sidste år i Aberdeen hvert 10. sekund. Skemaet er fuldt. Og den rigtige rusuge er ikke engang startet endnu. I lørdags startede vores internationale orientering, og siden da har jeg været sammen med de andre 4 udvekslingsstudenter og 17 andre internationale studerende, der skal til at påbegynde deres 1. år. Dagene har været pakket med alt det, der bliver nyttigt for os når først timerne begynder og collegelivet går i gang for alvor. Briefings om alt lige fra campus sikkerhed til deres writing center, hvor man kan få hjælp med opgaverne som jeg forventer vil hobe sig op, så snart jeg træder ind i klasseværelset. Vi har været på bådcruise på Mississippi-floden og lært lidt om Memphis' historie. Vi har haft besøg af en højt respekteret FBI agent, der fortalte os lidt om sikkerhed i Memphis (og som også fortalte, at han desværre ikke havde haft fornøjelsen af at møde præsident Obama endnu..). Jeg har skrevet en stor bunke emails til professorer, hvis fag jeg gerne vil tage. Jeg har købt mine bøger, været på shoppeture til Target med de andre for at købe alle nødvendighederne til et dorm room.

Rhodes College er en stærk konkurrent til Aberdeen hvad angår pænhed. Rhodes er smuk. Bygningerne er magiske. De ligner alle sammen hinanden, men det er en del af skønheden. Det er gotik i den absolut smukkeste form. Campus indeholder alt, hvad vi nogensinde kan få brug for: spisehal med et hav af forskellige retter, svømmepøl, fitness center, kæmpe bibliotek, boghandel, atletikbane, eget posthus og alle vores venner, næsten lige ved døren. Alt sammen til fri afbenyttelse. Hente en pakke eller sende et postkort? 2 minutter fra min dør. Et hurtigt dyk i poolen i solskinnet? 3 minutter. Morgenmad, som jeg ikke engang selv skal lave? 4 minutter. Det er vores egen lille, sikre verden.

Imorgen torsdag flytter alle de nye førsteårs studerende ind, og jeg forestiller mig allerede nu, at det bliver kaos. Præcis ligesom i film. Men det betyder nye mennesker og nye venner. Jeg glæder mig.

ENGLISH I'm a Lynx now! I've been in Memphis since Saturday now, and everything continues to be new and exciting. 2nd year of university, and in a different country! Studying abroad from my home abroad. If I was still in Aberdeen, first week/orientation week would smooth sailing. But once again, I'm starting from scratch, and several times I take myself getting deja vú to last years Fresher's Week back in Aberdeen. There's stuff to do every single second, places to be and people to meet. It's exactly the same as last year, and the real Fresher's Week hasn't even started - the new freshmen don't move in until tomorrow. So, for the past 5 days, I've been with the new international students (exchange students, Teaching Assistent's and new freshmen from all over the world). We've been through a ton of info sessions with all the stuff that'll come in handy once classes start. One thing that I love about Rhodes is all the different stuff we have available on campus (paid for through the tuition); there's a writing center, ESL-service, a huge library with a media center, fully staffed dining hall, a swimming pool, a fitness center, post office, an outdoor track, free laundry, a bookstore (with Rhodes merchandise - very important!).. basically, all the stuff you could ever need as a student. It's amazing. Send or receive a package? 2 minutes from my doorstep. A quick dip in the pool? Three minutes. Breakfast cooked for me in the dining hall with my friends? Refectory's 4 minutes away. It's like living in a bubble where you pay for people to do the work for you. I guess that's what college's about, isn't it?

So yeah, so far I've been with the international kids and our international orientation is coming to an end tomorrow when the new freshmen move in (it's going to be insane!). It's been really nice getting to know the campus and some of its people before everybody else gets here tomorrow. We've been briefed about academic life, Greek life (sororities, fraternities and all that shit), campus safety, we've had an FBI agent visit us to talk to us about safety in the Memphis area, we went on a cruise on the Mississippi and learned a bit about Memphis history in the process, we've been trying out different Memphis foods on different restaurants around the city and the list goes on. The schedule has been absolutely packed so far.

Rhodes' campus is beautiful. A very worthy competitor to the beautiful scenery we have back at Aberdeen. Both places are like Hogwarts in their own way. Both places are magical.